City Bus Driver

Last late shift of the year. Hogmanay. The city already half-dressed for celebration and half-undressed by road closures. Main streets sealed off like a crime scene, cones breeding overnight, and diversion notices fluttering about as if they’d only just been agreed over a pint. Typical. I had three trips left in me, all different routes, each one with its own bespoke “tweak” designed to keep things lively. Or confusing. Or both. First trip: a diversion. Second trip: a different diversion. Third trip: a diversion of a diversion, just to keep a bus driver humble. Then, as if the city felt things were going a little too straightforward, a road traffic collision arrived to really pull the threads loose. So now it wasn’t just Plan B, but Plan C, D, and a bit of freestyle navigation thrown in for character. Diversions on diversions. The sort of night where your indicators get more exercise than your right foot. Still, that’s Hogmanay for you. Controlled chaos with a hint of civic optimism...

At night, power comes in small, unremarkable shapes. A raised voice. A clenched fist. Or a button that decides who gets to leave. By the end of a late shift, the city starts to loosen its grip on itself. The air turns damp and metallic. Neon bleeds into puddles. People move with purpose, or not at all. I was on the final stretch to my changeover, enjoying that brief, fragile calm when you start to believe nothing else is going to happen. That’s when I pulled in at the shelter. I pressed the button. The doors began to open and the night forced its way in. A woman launched through the gap like she was escaping gravity itself, clutching a poke of chips with the intensity normally reserved for hostage negotiators. Behind her, the shelter erupted. Half a dozen scallywags burst into noise all at once, shouting, swearing, accusing, the kind of collective anger that doesn’t want resolution, only witnesses. Money. Drugs. Betrayal. A deal gone wrong and now being renegotiated in public. She ...

Introducing the 49: Edinburgh’s premier urban thoroughfare, an unrivalled journey connecting prestige, culture, and lifestyle. From the distinguished Royal Infirmary to the vibrant Fort Kinnaird retail enclave, this route offers exclusive access to the city’s most coveted streets and districts. Every stop is a feature, every turn an opportunity, a truly exceptional urban experience. Experience Edinburgh like never before with the 49, a curated passage through the city’s most desirable quarters. Combining historical charm, contemporary sophistication, and unparalleled convenience, this route presents an aspirational lifestyle rarely available in such a seamless journey. For the discerning commuter or visitor, the 49 provides a front-row seat to Edinburgh’s elegance, energy, and accessibility. Little France → Cameron Toll Commencing at the Royal Infirmary, a landmark of excellence and modernity, travellers are greeted with wide, immaculate avenues and the tranquillity of landscaped surro...

Royal Infirmary, smell ae bleach an’ despair, folk coughin like they’re in some consumptive choir. Ye fire up the bus, sweat oan yer neck, mind racin. Strap in: the 21’s a marathon ae schemies, seagulls, prams an’ patter. This yin’s a journey through aw the layers ae Edinburgh, frae sterile hospital corridors tae Niddrie chaos tae Porty chips tae Leith pish alleys tae Clermiston hills tae Clovenstone carnage. Nae guidebook glamour, just the city showin ye its erse. Stops melt intae each other, roads twist an’ bite, but ye learn the rhythm. It’s survival wi’ humour, misery wi’ banter. The streets keep ye honest, or just broken. Little France tae Greendykes Ye start at Little France Crescent, place buzzin like a kicked wasps’ nest. Folk leggin it tae shifts, taxis blockin ye, some aul’ yin wae a zimmer shoutin at the wind. Ye crawl roon Little France Drive, slip intae Pringle, then back tae Little France Drive again, wonderin if the road designer wis oan mushrooms. Sandilands Close, Gree...

Edinburgh’s no glossy postcard fae the gift shop. It’s petrol fumes, fried food, rain-soaked pavements, and a bus that rattles through it aw, dragging ye wi it. Strap in, ye’re takin this ride whether ye want tae or no. Ye ever sit oan a bus an think: who the f** designed this mad city?* It’s a rickety theme park ride stitched wi potholes an history, ancient castles perched on volcanic rock, wi junkies arguing at the back seat an school weans daein TikToks at the front. The No. 5 (aye, the one wi the Jewel startin line) isnae jist a route, it’s a f***in’ autopsy o Edinburgh, every layer sliced open, fae discount petrol at Asda tae the posh lawns ae Morningside. Folk pile oan, folk stumble aff, an the bus keeps grindin through the city like a stubborn hangover ye cannae shift. ASDA Petrol Station tae The Jewel Startin aff at the Asda petrol station, an it’s a fin caravan park o motors pumpin diesel like they’re tryin tae choke the planet by teatime. Folk wi dead eyes loadin meal deals i...

Start at the seaside, end up in Granton, yer basically drivin a guided tour o civilisation slidin intae the pan. The bus? Yer steel coffin. The punters? Every shade ae chaos humanity’s goat tae offer. Eastfield Terminus. Shite wee car park wi gulls perched like debt collectors. Engine’s chuggin, yer heid’s poundin, first shift ae the day an ye’re wonderin whit excuse ye could cook up tae just vanish. But naw. Ye’re strapped in. This is yer penance, lad. Bus 19. A journey fae calm tae carnage, wi’ every stop a new horror show. Eastfield tae Porty High Street Pull oot Eastfield, creep doon Seaview Terrace. Big posh houses, curtains twitchin, some guy in pyjamas smokin a cig wi’ his dug starin ye doon like it kens yer sins. Joppa Road’s tighter than a miser’s erse. Every parked motor’s a potential write-off. Ormelie, Abercorn, middle-class misery oozin fae the stonework. They still clamber oan, actin like ye’re chauffeur tae their Pilates class. Then Portobello High Street hits ye like a ...

From seaside roundabouts to leafy campuses, the 45 is a route with serious character. It cuts through city bustle, village calm, and enough student territory to fill a freshers’ fair. Here’s my homework run, so I don’t turn the first shift into a scenic mystery tour. The 45 is one of those routes that feels like three or four services stitched together. You start at the coast, with the smell of salt air and seagulls already plotting your chips, before plunging into the heart of town, dodging tourists and traffic lights. From there it snakes out through villas, sports fields, and village charm, finishing among the lecture halls and modern sprawl of Heriot-Watt. I’ve not driven it yet, this is me laying the map out in my head, due diligence before go-live, with a side order of humour to keep the roads from blurring together. Seaside Start to Abbeyhill We kick off at Marine Roundabout near Portobello, pointing the nose of the bus west. The first stretch runs along King’s Road, then sweeps...