Driving a bus isn’t just a job, it’s a daily adventure filled with unexpected stops, questionable traffic decisions, and passengers who think the fare box is a suggestion.
It takes skill, patience, and a good sense of humour to survive the daily commute behind the wheel.
To help navigate the ups and downs of life on the road, we present The Ten Commandments of the Bus Driver, a sacred (but not too serious) guide to keeping your sanity intact while delivering your passengers safely, no matter how many of them ask, “Do you go to the Infirmary?”
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| The weight of duty keeps us grounded, even as our dreams try to soar. |
The Ten Commandments of the Bus Driver
(Holier-Than-Thou Rules, Filled with Divine Wit)Thou shalt never be late
For lo, the timetable is as sacred as the holy scriptures themselves. If thou art late, ye shall be banished from the bus stop and doomed to wait in eternal anguish for the next bus, which cometh only when the traffic gods are kind. The passengers will look upon thee with disdain, their eyes saying, "Thou hast brought shame upon us all."Thou shalt not pick up stray wanderers
Let it be known that the bus is not a charmed carriage for those who cannot be bothered to stand at the bus stop like the good Lord intended. If ye run alongside the bus, flailing your arms like a lost soul, thou shalt be ignored, for the bus is not a taxi, and thy destiny lies with the next scheduled chariot. Get thyself to the stop, or forever be forsaken.Thou shalt shut the doors with divine finality
When the bus doors are closing, it is an act of godly power. Do not think to run toward them with that wild look in your eye, for they are not to be trifled with. Thou mayest wish for mercy, but lo, the doors shall close, and ye shall hear the cold, mechanical chime of rejection. This is the way of the bus driver, and ye must accept it.Thou shalt not speed, for speed bumps are thy judgment
Verily, thou mayest be tempted to rush, to defy the speed limits, but know this: The speed bumps are many, and they wait for thee like the righteous do for judgment. Speed and thou shalt feel the wrath of the suspension system. Seek ye comfort in a steady pace, for the road is full of bumps, potholes, and those irritating little cyclists who dare to share thy divine path.Thou shalt not text whilst driving, for the devil lives in distractions
It is written that the road must be observed and the wheel grasped with both hands. To text, to tweet, or to scroll is to invite disaster. Do not be tempted by the bright glow of your phone, for it is but a mirage that will lead thee astray. Keep thy eyes on the road, and thy hands on the wheel, or thy passengers will surely curse thee under their breath.Thou shalt not forsake the lost souls of the rain-soaked masses
The heavens will weep and the wind will howl, but thy bus must not forsake those who stand waiting in the downpour. It matters not if thy shoes are dry and thy coat is warm—thy duty is clear. Open the doors to those who seek refuge, for they are thy passengers, and their comfort is thy mission. If thou dost not, thou shalt be cursed with a lifetime of soggy shoes and discontent.Thou shalt keep the bus clean, but not immaculate
It is thy holy duty to maintain cleanliness, but lo, thou art not a miracle worker. Spilled coffee, crumpled tickets, and the occasional mystery stain are to be expected. The bus is not a sanctuary, but a vessel of transport, and even the holiest of vessels get a bit grubby. Strive for order, but accept that perfection is a myth, like the idea of a "quiet bus."Thou shalt not be a tour guide to the lost, confused, and utterly bewildered
The bus is a place for travelling, not for idle sightseeing. If thou art asked for directions by a lost tourist who cannot even pronounce the name of their destination, thou mayest answer, but lo, do so with great restraint. Thou art not a guidebook, nor a GPS, and thou hast better things to do than explain for the thousandth time how to get to the nearest museum.Thou shalt signal like the heavens themselves are watching
Lo, the indicator is thy staff, thy rod, thy symbol of clear intent. Use it well, and use it often, for to fail to signal is to sow confusion among the drivers and pedestrians. The bus is a mighty ship on the roads, and thou must navigate with care and grace. To signal late is a sin, and to not signal at all is a crime against road safety itself.Thou shalt show mercy to thy passengers, but only when they’ve earned it
Thou art the divine guardian of the bus, and thy passengers are thy flock. Help the elderly, the frail, and the desperate, but if thou encountereth the person who refuses to move down the aisle, thou shalt give them a look that would freeze the very heart of the unruly. Be kind, but let no one take advantage of thy bus-driver goodwill, for ye are not a charity service, but a sovereign of the road.
And so it is written, so it shall be done. Thou art the Bus Driver, the keeper of schedules, the slayer of traffic, the dispenser of mercy. Go forth and drive with thy head held high, for thou art a servant of the road, and thy journey is holy.
The Bus Driver’s Ten Commandments (Atheist Edition)
Don’t Panic About The Timetable
The timetable is more like a suggestion. Traffic happens, buses get delayed. Relax, it’ll come when it comes. If you’re waiting in the rain, just remember: “We’re all in this together,” or something equally inspirational.Don’t Believe Everything You Hear
If a passenger says, “This bus is always late,” don’t assume it’s gospel truth. Check the actual facts, not the ranting of someone who missed the last bus because they were too busy checking Twitter.Follow The Rules, But Don’t Overthink It
The road signs are there for a reason—stop means stop, go means go. You don’t need a spiritual awakening to figure that out. And no, praying for green lights won’t help.Personal Space Is Sacred
Keep your elbows to yourself, people. There’s no need to turn the aisle into a wrestling ring. Everyone deserves a little breathing room—even if that means getting out of the way of the guy who thinks the bus is his personal lounge.Drive Like You’ve Got Somewhere To Be
Don't speed, don’t dawdle. Just get from A to B without treating every pothole like a rollercoaster. You’re driving a bus, not auditioning for a stunt driver role.Take Responsibility, Especially When You Miss The Stop
Own up to it. If you miss someone at the stop, just admit it. Don’t pretend it’s “the system’s fault.” If you accidentally leave someone behind because they were too slow, well, that’s on you, not “the universe.”Treat Others Like You’re Not Getting Paid To Care
Passengers are people, and people are annoying. But, show a little basic decency. If someone’s lost, help ‘em out. If they’re rude, ignore them with all the patience you can muster. It’s not your job to teach manners.Think About The Future (But Not Too Much)
Leave the bus as tidy as possible. Wipe down a seat if you’ve got time, pick up some stray trash. Future drivers will thank you. If they don’t, well, they’re not you—and that’s the best revenge.There’s No Right Way To Drive This Thing
If one route’s running late, take a different one. Be flexible! You're the driver, not a robot, and not everyone likes the scenic route. Some people just want to get there without a tour guide.Leave The World A Better Place Than You Found It
Even if it’s just by keeping your passengers from a mental breakdown because you’re the only bus driver who actually remembers to stop at the right place.
And there you have it!
The Bus Driver’s Manifesto. Follow these commandments and, while the passengers might complain, at least you’ll be laughing all the way to the next stop. Remember, it’s just a bus, not a diplomatic mission!
The Bus Driver’s Ten Commandments (Philosophical Edition)
Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
When you’re driving a bus, certainty is a myth. Will the timetable hold? Will that passenger make the stop? Probably not. Embrace the chaos. The only thing that’s certain is the bus will stop at some point, eventually.Don’t conceal the truth, especially not about the traffic.
You can’t hide the truth from passengers, especially not when the traffic’s backed up. Don’t pretend the delay is for “safety reasons”—the truth is, you’re stuck in a gridlock, and the bus is going nowhere fast.Never try to discourage thinking (unless it’s about the traffic jam).
Trying to reason with a passenger who insists the bus is “never on time” is a losing battle. But, do your best to encourage rational thought when they ask, “Why are you so slow?” Your answer should be, “Because I’m not magic.”When you meet opposition (e.g., angry commuters), argue your point with logic, not authority.
So someone’s furious that you didn’t wait for them to sprint to the bus stop—don’t shout back! Counter their anger with the cold, hard facts: “If I waited for every latecomer, I’d still be at the depot!”Have no respect for the authority of others (especially traffic lights).
That red light? Ignore it. Kidding, of course—respect the rules. But never forget, there are always other rules: like, “Don’t mess with a bus driver trying to get through the roundabout before the school bell rings.”Don’t use your power to suppress the opinions of the passengers (unless they’re debating where to sit).
Someone thinks it’s okay to stand in the aisle when every seat’s free? You don’t need to shut them down with authority. Just give them a look that says, “Really?”Do not fear to be eccentric in your driving choices.
Not every bus ride has to follow the same boring route. If the mood strikes, take a detour! Sure, passengers will complain, but just remind them: “Once upon a time, this was a thrilling adventure.”Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent than in passive agreement.
When someone on the bus debates whether it’s “really” faster to take the 3 or the 9, enjoy the argument. Your job is to keep things moving, but why not enjoy a bit of friendly banter? It’s more fun than silently nodding at a “quiet bus.”Be scrupulously truthful, even if it’s inconvenient.
The bus is late? Tell them. Traffic’s a nightmare? Own it. “I’m sorry, folks, but we’re not going anywhere fast. I blame the roadworks and the universe.”Do not feel envious of those blissfully unaware passengers in a fool’s paradise.
Look, if someone’s happily dozing off while the bus is three minutes late, don’t envy them. They’re living in a world where traffic jams don’t exist. Enjoy the fact that you're aware of the traffic chaos around you—it’s a sign of wisdom, not doom.
And that’s it.
The Ten Commandments of Bus Driving, Philosophical Edition. Approach the road with humility, but also with the confidence to know that you're the one behind the wheel—whether you’re driving through a calm morning or an apocalyptic traffic jam. Stay logical, stay witty, and remember: it's just a bus ride, not a life-or-death debate.
The Bus Driver’s Ten Commandments of Socialist Morality
You should always stand up for the solidarity of all passengers and the unbreakable bond of the commuter community.
Your bus isn’t just a vehicle; it’s a microcosm of society. All passengers, from the seasoned regulars to the confused tourists, must unite under the banner of “We’ll get there eventually!” No one is left behind—except, of course, the ones who didn’t make it to the stop on time.You should love your route and always be ready to defend the bus’s honor against delays, roadworks, and reckless cyclists.
This bus, this route, this sacred journey—you’ve committed to it. Defend it with all your might. No matter how many potholes there are, how many "stop request" buttons get pushed just as you're about to pull away, you shall drive on.You should help eliminate the exploitation of the ticketing system by the few who think the bus driver won’t notice their attempt at sneaky fare evasion.
Fare evaders beware! Your mission is to ensure no one skips their dues. If someone tries to board without a valid ticket, show them the righteous way—be firm, but fair. You’re not just a bus driver; you’re the moral guardian of public transport integrity!You should do good deeds for the smooth operation of the bus system, for the bus brings betterment to the people of this fine city.
You may not be able to fix the broken fare machine or repair the heater in the dead of winter, but your every action in maintaining order on your bus is an act of good. The people of the city rely on your punctuality, kindness, and the knowledge that someone on this bus is in charge.You should act in the spirit of mutual respect and cooperation with your passengers.
Remember, the bus is a shared space, and nothing gets accomplished without mutual respect. Passengers should respect the need to move down the aisle to make room for others, and you, the driver, should respect that they may not be in the mood for small talk. Everyone’s just trying to get somewhere.You should protect and care for the public property of the bus and its passengers.
That’s your bus, and you keep it clean. Whether it’s wiping down the seats or making sure the doors close properly, you’re not just a driver—you’re a custodian of the public transport system. Passengers may not always appreciate it, but the bus shall endure!You should always strive to improve your driving performance, keep the bus on schedule, and maintain a steady pace.
Remember the 9am rush hour. Every minute counts. Keep the flow, dodge the traffic, and maintain socialist labor discipline in the face of every jam. Your work is not just a job; it’s an exercise in punctuality, efficiency, and determination.You should educate your passengers in the spirit of patience and kindness.
Teach them that patience is a virtue, especially when the bus is late. When tempers flare, remain calm. Everyone’s in this together, and no amount of honking will make the traffic move faster. Lead by example: always keep cool, even if a passenger insists on arguing about the route.You should live clean, respectful, and balanced—especially when it comes to keeping the bus free of rogue sandwich wrappers and misplaced umbrellas.
Respect the bus, respect the family of commuters, and respect yourself. You’ve got to lead by example. If you can’t take pride in your bus, how can you expect anyone else to? That means making sure the bus is spotless after every journey, and yes, occasionally doing battle with that mysterious “mystery stain.”You should show solidarity with the drivers of other routes, and with those fighting to improve the system for all who ride.
In solidarity, all bus drivers must unite. Help out your fellow drivers, share tips for avoiding traffic hotspots, and always stand together to demand better facilities and more punctual schedules for your community. We’re all in this traffic jam together
And thus, it is written, and thus we drive.
The bus is a vessel of unity, with each passenger aboard contributing to the collective experience of moving through the city. Be firm in your resolve, kind in your actions, and always aim to leave the world—and the roads—a little better than you found them.
The Ten Offers of Evolutionary Bus Driving
Serve neither the gods of rush hour nor the deities of delays, but rather the great ideal of getting your passengers from Point A to Point B without anyone losing their temper.
Forget about divine inspiration. Focus on the schedule. Science may not have figured out the magic trick to avoid traffic jams, but at least you're doing your best to get everyone where they need to go—preferably without a fifteen-minute wait.Be fair to your passengers, both the regulars who know their stop and the tourists who can barely pronounce the name of the street.
Everyone’s got a right to sit down. Offer your seat to the elderly, let the tourists ask questions without rolling your eyes, and make sure everyone feels part of the communal ride, even if they don’t know how to operate the bus’s heating system.Do not fear the traffic lights, but have the courage to reason with them, even if you know they have no interest in your logic.
Red lights will mock you. So will pedestrians crossing when they really shouldn’t. Don’t give in to frustration—learn to accept the system, even when it’s rigged against you.You shall not lie, cheat, steal, or allow your passengers to argue with you about the bus schedule. But if there’s a legitimate emergency, well, maybe you’ll make an exception.
That 10-minute wait you told them about? Maybe a slight exaggeration, but if the bus is stuck in traffic, there’s no harm in fudging the details a little. After all, honesty is important, but so is avoiding a riot over a missed connection.Free yourself from the bad habit of moralising, especially when someone insists on opening the window while you’re driving through a hailstorm.
Don’t waste energy telling people how to live. Just gently close that window, and move on. The bus is not a place for deep moral debates, it’s a place for practical survival.Do not immunize yourself against criticism, especially when you’ve missed the turning that’s right in front of you.
Sure, someone might call out the wrong direction—but instead of denying it, embrace it. Apologise, laugh it off, and correct course. After all, driving a bus is a team effort, even if the team is just you and a bunch of confused commuters.Do not be too confident in your ability to avoid traffic; even doubt should be doubted.
You can plan for a smooth ride, but know this: the moment you get cocky about your route, a pothole or construction site will humble you. Keep those plans flexible, and always assume the worst. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when it goes right.Overcome any tendency toward tradition blindness by considering alternate routes, even if the regulars have a preferred path and a routine they hold dear.
It’s tempting to follow the usual route and the established order, but hey—take the scenic detour now and then. You might find a quicker route or, at the very least, avoid the traffic that always plagues your usual path.Enjoy your life, because it's highly probable that it will be the only shift you have today, and there’s no point getting grumpy about it.
Your job might not be the pinnacle of glamour, but it has its moments. Take the time to enjoy that 2-minute break at a bus stop, savour the feeling when everyone manages to get off the bus without a fuss, and always take pride in getting people where they need to be.Put your life in the service of keeping the wheels of society turning—be a part of the great tradition of those who get people from A to B without causing a public scandal.
It’s not just about getting to work—it’s about making life a little easier for others. So next time someone thanks you for getting them to their destination on time, feel good. You’re part of the system that keeps cities moving, one bus at a time.
And so it is written, and so we drive.
Though not divine, bus drivers hold the power to smooth the way for the masses, one stop at a time. Keep your sense of humour intact, because in the end, we’re all just trying to get where we’re going—without anyone missing their stop.
Continue Your Journey Through the World of Public Transport
From these divine commandments, you may wish to embark on a deeper journey into the world of public transport. Continue your exploration by following these paths:
- Connecting Routes: A Public Transport Portal – Explore the heart of our site, where we uncover everything you need to know about the world of public transport.
- Stories from the Community – Discover real-life stories from passengers and drivers alike, sharing their experiences and journeys on the road.
- Public Transport Tips and Etiquette – Get practical advice on how to navigate the bus system like a seasoned traveller with these essential tips.
- Bus Driver Appreciation – Learn more about the incredible people behind the wheel and the often-overlooked challenges they face.
- Bus Route Information – Find detailed route schedules, stops, and everything you need to plan your next trip with ease.
For those who wish to dive deeper into the world of transport, explore these external resources:
- Public Transport Advocacy Groups – Support the causes that aim to improve public transport systems and ensure better experiences for both drivers and passengers.
- Humorous Transport Articles & Memes – If you enjoyed our light-hearted take, you’ll love these funny stories and memes about bus journeys and the everyday life of a bus driver.
- Transport Safety Guidelines – Get a serious take on the rules and regulations that keep our buses running safely and smoothly.
City Bus Driver
In the context of "commandments," the word "command" refers to an authoritative instruction, order, or directive that must be followed. It implies a sense of obligation or duty, often from a figure of authority, and is meant to establish rules or guidelines for behavior. The term suggests that these are not merely suggestions but mandatory principles that govern actions, often linked to moral, legal, or religious frameworks.
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