City Bus Driver

Some days, the city throws a minor traffic jam your way. Other days, it flings a light aircraft into an oak tree just to keep you on your toes. One moment, you're dodging delivery vans and errant cyclists, the next, you're staring at a scene that looks like the result of a flight simulator glitch. It’s not every day you expect to see a plane tangled up in the branches on your usual route, but then again, nothing should surprise me anymore. This job has taught me that if something can happen, it probably will, though even I wasn't prepared for a mid-air parking mishap right in the middle of my shift.  When a Light Aircraft Decides to Park in a Tree: A Surreal Sight on My Route It was just past midday, and I was weaving my way through the outer suburbs when it happened. I had been cruising along, minding my own business, when I noticed something red and out of place in my peripheral vision. At first, I thought someone had got creative with their Christmas decorations, despite...

That Dude’s Vape The Wildest, Weirdest, Most WTF Day in Public Transport History Okay, so I’m just gonna start by saying: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to drive a bus while tripping without actually taking anything? Well, welcome to my Monday. Picture this—me, Chad Thunderstruck, your favourite bus driver, doing my thing. Picking up people, dodging bad drivers, living my best life. But today? Oh, today the universe decided to throw me into the deep end of weird. And I’m not talking about your garden-variety strangeness, like someone bringing a parrot in a backpack (happened). No, no. Today, I drove headfirst into a fever dream, complete with  walking trees ,  shadow ninjas , and  a bush with commitment issues . But before we get into that mess, let’s rewind a bit. Because I think the source of this bizarre trip might have been  Bill —the guy with the vape pen that smelled like a candy factory and a reggae concert had a baby. The Setup: Bill and His Magical V...

Severed Hand The bus rumbles beneath me, a living beast of metal and glass, as I steer it through the city's veins. The day is warm, deceptively warm, the kind of warmth that lulls you into a false sense of security. Golden rays dance on the buildings, an illusion of peace that clings to the air like a fragile veil, but I know better—today is different. Today, the sun’s glow feels like a lie, a mask for something dark and twisted waiting to claw its way into the light. I see him—my colleague, my friend—just ahead. He’s waving, or maybe just stretching out his arm, seeking relief from the sweltering heat. A simple, mundane gesture. The kind you see a thousand times and never think twice about. But not today. Today, the mundane becomes monstrous. Today, the ordinary becomes a nightmare. And then, it happens. Time fractures into a thousand shards. A glazier's van roars past, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, its menace hidden behind a façade of daily routine. But this is no ordinary day...

Town Bewildered So, picture this: I’m cruising along my usual bus route, the same old stops, the same familiar faces, and the occasional dog that insists on racing me—typical Tuesday, right? But hold onto your seats, folks, because today was anything but typical. There I was, listening to control on the bus radio, when something caught my eye. I glanced over to one of the houses, expecting the usual: lawn gnomes, bird baths, maybe a seasonal inflatable hot tub. But nope, not today. What do I see instead? A horse's head hung in the front window. Yes, you heard me right. A HORSE’S HEAD. My first thought? "Did I accidentally drive into a scene from The Godfather?" Now, I don't know about you, but this kind of thing tends to raise a few questions. For instance, are we sure the Mafia hasn’t relocated to this quaint little town on the edge of the city? And more importantly, where in the world is the rest of the horse? Is it lounging in the back garden, soaking up some sun? ...

Neighbourhood Duel Driving a bus is always an adventure, but the other day? Well, let's just say it reached a new level of extraordinary. Picture this: cruising down Station Road, the usual hustle and bustle of suburban serenity. Kids playing tag, a dog chasing its own tail, a squirrel doing whatever it is squirrels do to pass the time. You know, typical Tuesday stuff. Suddenly, something catches my eye—two neighbors, let's call them Larry and Barry, engaged in what can only be described as an impromptu urination Olympics right over their shared garden hedge. Now, I've seen some things in my time behind the wheel, but this? This was next level. Larry, the sprightly senior, was giving it his all with a look of sheer determination on his face. Barry, the younger fellow, seemed to be more about the brute force approach. It was like watching the world's weirdest water fountain show. For a moment, I considered pulling over, parking the bus, and turning this spectacle into a ...