Before he was a bus driver, he was a sandwich maker. Now, he’s crafting journeys instead of subs, complete with chaos, detours, and the occasional biscuit break. From Epic Bus Adventures to impromptu history lessons, he drives like he means it, because if you’re not all in, what’s the point?
All or Nothing: The Art of Driving Like You Mean It
Interviewer: Mr. Bus Driver, before you became a bus driver, you made your living as a sandwich maker. Did that help prepare you for driving a bus?
Bus Driver: Oh, absolutely. You see, driving a bus is like making a sandwich. You’ve got your fillings, your base, your customers. The bread is the route, the passengers are the meat, and the bus is just the tasty wrap that holds it all together. I spent years chopping up lettuce, stacking tomatoes, and managing queues of impatient customers. So when it comes to dealing with people on the bus, you’re already halfway there! Sandwiches taught me how to handle unruly ingredients... I mean, passengers. And how to keep it together when things get messy.
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| Embracing the unknown with every move—life's journey requires bold decisions and the courage to go all in, no matter the outcome. |
Interviewer: So it’s like practising your route every day?
Bus Driver: Exactly! You’ve got to mix it up, keep things interesting. Just like making a good sandwich, you’ve got to keep your route fresh. One minute you’re driving through a nice, quiet street, the next minute you’re swerving round a roundabout while some bloke’s shouting at you about how you missed his stop, it’s all part of the fun.
Interviewer: "Once you drive, you’ve gotta drive all the way, you know what I’m saying?"
Bus Driver: (Laughs) Oh yeah, mate. You’ve got to commit. Once I’m in that driver’s seat, I’m ALL in. You’ve seen the kind of stuff I’ve pulled, pulling over just to hand out free biscuits because the kids are having a meltdown, or stopping mid-journey to fix a dodgy wheel, I do it all. No hesitation.
Interviewer: A lot of bus drivers say that, but no one seems to take it as literally as you…
Bus Driver: Well, I do the job properly, don’t I? I’ve had the odd run-in with pedestrians, the occasional ‘accidental off-road adventure’ (don’t ask), but that’s part of the excitement. If you’re not living on the edge, what’s the point of driving a 12-tonne metal beast? You’ve got to go all in, that’s how we roll.
Interviewer: Deep down, you want to park in the middle of the motorway and start a spontaneous parade?
Bus Driver: (Laughs) Honestly? I’d love that. I’m all for a flash mob of confused tourists while I’m parked in the middle of a busy intersection. It’s all about the thrill, mate. When you hit your late sixties, you don’t want to be sitting at home watching reruns of The Chase. You want to be out there living life at full speed, or at least as fast as the traffic allows.
Interviewer: So, does this desire for adventure subconsciously influence the routes you pick?
Bus Driver: Oh, for sure. It’s not that I pick my routes based on excitement, but it does happen. After all, I do drive the ‘dodgy routes’, you know, the ones with the tight corners, the ones where the sat-nav starts crying. But hey, I did the tourist routes too because my kids wanted to see the sights, and I never thought I’d end up narrating a 10-minute history lesson while avoiding a pigeon invasion.
Interviewer: A few years before you became the legend you are, you worked on Epic Bus Adventures, how did that happen?
Bus Driver: Well, it all started when I noticed another driver who was doing things a little... differently. His bus was like Madcap Journeys, chaotic, unpredictable, and probably in need of a good clean. So I thought, ‘I like this guy.’ We had a chat, and I said, “Whatever you’re doing next, I’m on board.” A year later, he handed me a map with 155 stops, and said, “It’s called Epic Bus Adventures.” I said, “Done.”
Interviewer: “That’s a lot of trust to put in someone you’d just met…”
Bus Driver: Trust? Ha! This bloke, Craig, was so full of energy, I thought, "If I don’t hop on this bus now, I’ll regret it forever!" So I made the deal. When I presented it to the company, they took one look at it and said, "Not a chance." So I took it to Fiona, and let’s just say, Fiona’s got a bit of a reputation for saying ‘yes’ to odd things. She didn’t bat an eyelash. “Give him exactly what he wants!” she said. And I said, “Fine, but no one’s changing the seats. It’s a package deal.”
Interviewer: And that’s how Epic Bus Adventures made history.
Bus Driver: (Laughs) History? More like chaos on wheels. But yeah, it worked out. Now every time I pull into a stop, people are asking me for autographs. “Are you the driver from Epic Bus Adventures?” they say. And I reply, “No, I’m the guy who made the bus legendary.”
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