Knife-Wielding 'Bus Surfer'
Ah, another scorching day in the life of a shade-hunter. There I was, desperately seeking shelter from the blistering sun, when my trusty 'big brother'—the double-decker bus next to me—offered his shadowy embrace. A perfect day to be on the road, or so I thought.
But what’s this? Over the border, my colleagues are grappling with a knife-wielding ‘bus surfer’? Now that’s a plot twist worthy of a summer blockbuster! Imagine, riding the rear of the bus like it’s some kind of public transportation surfboard. I can already hear the theme music: “Surfing USA” meets “Psycho” in a strange, bizarre remix.
Driving my bus, I notice the usual: people sweating like they’re training for a marathon, the scent of sunscreen and fast food mingling in the air, and that one guy who thinks deodorant is optional. But today, my mind’s abuzz with this rogue rider news.
Every bump on the road feels like a drumroll, and I find myself peeking in the rearview more than usual. “Is he back there?” I wonder. My imagination is running wild. One second, I see a pigeon; the next, it’s a shadowy figure with a knife. “Calm down, it’s just a guy on a skateboard,” I tell myself. Or is it?
This whole scenario has me thinking: What if a ‘bus surfer’ joined my route? Picture this: “Next stop, Knife-Edge Avenue! Watch your step and mind the blade!” I’d have to invest in a rear view mirror upgrade or maybe hire a ninja to ride shotgun. The safety announcements would need a serious rewrite: “In case of emergency, please exit through the windows and avoid the knife-wielding daredevil outside at the back.”
A quick glance at my passengers, and I imagine their reactions. The elderly lady with the knitting needles might just invite the ‘bus surfer’ in for a chat, or a duel—knitting needle vs. knife. The teenager with earbuds permanently glued to his head wouldn’t even notice, too busy scrolling through memes. And me? I’d probably end up on the local news: “Heroic Bus Driver Outsmarts Knife-Wielding Surfer with Wit and a Well-Timed Speed Bump.”
Let’s be real, though. If it were me dealing with a knife-wielding surfer, I’d probably scream like a banshee and offer him my lunch in exchange for safe passage. Self-deprecating? Maybe. But I’m just a humble bus driver, after all. Still, can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
So, here I am, cruising along, half-expecting a surfing showdown. My ‘big brother’ the double-decker casts a long shadow, protecting me from the sun and, perhaps, imaginary knife-wielding maniacs. But hey, life’s too short not to find the humour in our daily grind. Stay sunny, folks, and remember: if you see a knife-wielding ‘bus surfer,’ give them a wave—preferably from a distance.
___ Jamie
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